sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
