i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
