thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
