I think I am morally bankrupt
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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