He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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