he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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