all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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