we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
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