He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
