is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
