Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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