Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
