I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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