So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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