i permit you to call me
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
