just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
