Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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