wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
