I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
