My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We are two peas in an std pod
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
