it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
