Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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