There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
