Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
