is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
