Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
