worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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