Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
