Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
