How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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