If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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