I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
