Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
