My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
