Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
honey bunches of taint.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
