How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
