i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
