The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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