she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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