I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
