i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
