so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
no you cant smoke seaweed
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
