Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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