Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
