he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
