what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Randomize
