He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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