Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
