yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
3 2 1 whiskey
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
