I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
