You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
thus making me awesome and them whores
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
