i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
